That aside, I’m back in the army serving my national service for another week. Having encountered things that should not be seen nor heard, it made me realize that I shouldn’t take things for granted and to be more respectful of my surroundings from now on. “Dear God, please take good care of my fellow comrades as thou has towards me.”

My future – 5 years and beyond; My vote has been casted and the tribe will be spoken tomorrow. Regardless of the result, my only wish is for a better tomorrow for everyone. The decisions that I’ve taken up today will surely affect my life sooner or later, be it good or bad. “Dear God, let me receive an anointing and guide me through the good times and bad.”

Amen.

Anyway, I’m writing this post to myself – many years down the road, if I still remember about this blog and if wordpress still exists, I want ME to know that I had blogged this post in a cold and dark living room, on the sofa that I would be sleeping in.

How many times have I promised myself that I would work hard for the future while I squandered away my present and how many times have I disappointed my family and love one with my actions and non-actions? To be honest, I’m pretty disappointed with myself too. Why can’t I be more responsible with my life and the lives that depends on me? Should I wait for calamity to arise before I realise my stupidity; OR should I finally advert this potential tragedy whole-heartedly and willingly?

My blog posts are as always, full of questions and not many answers. I’m clueless as to whether typing them out makes any real difference in my life. But I DO hope that by the very next time I read this entry again, I would have changed for the better.

Otherwise.

I am hopeless.

It just means that I blog mostly whenever I’m depressed; and I have probably exhausted all other outlets of releasing my feelings to anyone at all.

I have completely lost my focus in life. Aimless is how I feel from time to time. Too much setbacks in life can really take a toll on one’s soul. Being scrutinized constantly on almost every single thing on a daily basis can be quite stressful to my head. It’s like my life is one big mistake and there seems to be no way to rectify it at all.

Heck, I don’t even know how to end this post either.

Sad.

Keeping fit, catching up with friends and relatives, taking care of my wife and mum, concentrating on my studies, working for a better life (present and future), staying faithful to my religion, spending quality time with my pet dog and more plans in-the-making.

Humans are simple creatures capable of having complicated lives.

A simple life would be going through a general education so as to secure a job that pays decently with a bearable amount of workload. Meeting someone that shares that same viewpoint of leading a simple life, to fall in love with that someone and get married to them. The next step in a simple life would be to have children that would most likely go through the same cycle of lives that their parents are leading and eventually, to retire with enough time and money to enjoy the remainder of our earthly lives before we ascend to a (hopefully) place with higher calling.

While a complicated life would be trying to equip oneself with life skills for the future while we are young and to get enrolled into an elite school at almost every stage of our academic lives to receive the best education that the country can offer. If one is hopeful, a scholarship comes along the way as a form of bonus. Having MNCs or government sectors to knock on our doors to offer positions that one can hardly reject. Marrying the dream partner of our choice plus, coupled with the best DNA you think you could ever have, to produce one of the most intelligent and beautiful child (or children) in your so called ‘perfect world’. And lastly, to build your very own empire and retire with a legacy for the next generation because by then, you probably would have the financial capability of allowing your children to achieve any and every dream they desire to, thus kick starting their very own complicated life.

There are a handful whose choices may defer from the above two scenarios, however they are just only a handful. Having said that, there will be times when people leading with a simple or complicated life may look on with envy at these handful, but it really is a classic case of ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’.

Having mentioned all that, I wonder what should my resolution be.

Sigh, God help.

Most importantly, I finally blogged.

What can I say?

I am so darn lazy.