My little new Hope

20 11 2007

Happened to chance upon this blog http://mylittlenewhope.blogspot.com/ while taking a short break from work. Here are some extracts –

We knew each other since our poly days… ROM in year 2000, studied in Perth from 2001 – 2003, travelled a lot and held our traditional wedding on 11th June 2006.Everything was like fairytale. He treated me very well all these years. I gave him all my trust, love and support. We were the perfect couple that many others envy. We renovated our house, held our wedding dinner, brought a car, have great jobs and looking forward to the birth of our little new hope to complete our life…

She was his colleague..they went training in Geneva together.. She’s staying in Tampines as well… She ROM recently… things just gets clearer from then on… bits and pieces just started to fall into place… My Bao bei told me he got to work late and i have to take mrt back and not to wait for him.. he never let me travel alone when he’s ard.. yet..now he doesn’t even bother to ask where am i..if i have reached home safely or did anyone offer me a seat etc… so that he can go out with this woman after work and send her home instead.. and visit her again on his daily night exercise… He can go out with me and suddenly told me he wanted to be alone.. ask me to wait for him to come home… so that he can go to this woman at her becks and calls… he can let this woman reply to my sms when i need to respect his privacy and not access to his hp…he can told me that he’s sick of seeing my crying face and felt weak when the other woman cry in front of him…

Now i can only move on.. i have already done all i can to salvage my marriage…I’m very tire… physically, emotionally, financially and mentally… Never in my life i’ll expect these to happen to me.. to become a single mother..a divorce status and not being able to be with bao bei till old and not able to provide a happy family for my little new hope.. I know i need to be strong for my little princess for now.. So sorry that mammy caused u to suffer even before you land on earth.. Mammy will be strong for you from now on and pray that you’ll be healthy when u see this world… no matter what.. my little new hope is the innocence one.. and I’ll been seeing her soon and be able to protect her and held her tightly in my arms… She’s what i have left after all these years…”

Reading her blog set me thinking – Does love truly exists?

Here we have a man who supposedly devoted 8 years of his time and emotion to a woman whom he claimed to have ‘loved’. Only to end up getting a divorce with her (and their unborn child), to pursue another woman (who was married as well), leaving her physically, mentally and emotionally detached.

Does love succumb to external influence that easily? How is it truly possible for such a fairy tale ending to deviate into something….Extremely hurtful.

I’m sure some of us might say that there’s always 2 sides to a story, but the way I see it, I don’t think there is any at all. The only one that will benefit from this tragedy is the man, the very same guy that proclaimed his devotion to his ‘one and only love’, whilst the ones that’ll be suffering would be the author and the 3rd party’s husband.

2 bonds are lost just to create another one, was it worth it?

Even when I relate this story to myself, I just shudder at the very thought of it happening to me, that I might be like him and end up hurting the ones I love most. But I won’t, given the same ‘opportunities’ and ‘chances’, I simply won’t do it.

Because I do believe that it exists and I just want to say those 3 words to you.

I love you

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3 responses

17 06 2009
Jay

I feel very sad for janice and her baby girl. I knew how Janice felt when her dear hubby cheated on her cos I ws in the same situation as her. My husband of 24 years cheated on me with his young Malaysain colleague. Same old story telling me that he has to work late asking me to find my own transport home. Every evening ard 5.45 he would called me asking me what time I will be working till cos i worked overtime almost every evening trying to earning some extra money for our family. How will i to know that he called me to check what time i worked till so he cn make arrangement how to spent more time with his young mistress.

I went thru almost excatly what janice went thru but I ended up in depression and having though of killing myself n my kids.

I even met up with the Malaysian bitch twice asking her what is going on and what is the relationshio between her n my hubby and both of them told me that they are just friends and nothing is going on between the two of hem. I even found loving sms from my hubby telling her he cannot sleep that night around 1230am . Haha.. the best part was that me, his wife was beside him and he just can’t care less of me. All he can think of was his young bitch.

Even thou 2 years had passed by, my hubby is still with me, I am still hurt n still in depression. The young mistress quited from the company n last I heard she is now married. Well I hope she will go thru the same pain as what she had out me thru. Now that she is married, I hope that she better take very good care of her dear hubby cos who know another younger bitch like her will come in to break up her marriage.. I still hate her n my hubby so much for destroying my life forever.

17 06 2009
Mel

Hi Jay,

Please don ever lost hop in yourself. Knew what you went thru cos I was also in the same position. Was also married for many years wuth kids too. All the sudden out of the blue, my husband also started to change into a stranger.
He would make thousand n one excuse on coming home late everyday incl weekends which he tol me that he had to be in office due to overload of work. Yup… his overload of work was to take care of his mistress. Guess what.. his mistress is also a young Malaysian woman and also his colleague too.

SO i was in the same boat as you too. I ddi not knwo who to turn to or talk to as this was not something you share with even with yr closest friends as I was so afraid they will laugh at behind.

Same as you, I also went to meet up and chat with his mistress and she got the guts to tell me off that I did not take good care of my husband and I cannot blame her if my dear husband went looking for another woman to care n love.

My heart broke and I cried thousand pails of tears but it did not moved my husband heart at all. All he can think of was his young mistress.

Till today, we are still together for the sake of our kids not for ourselves. I still cannot get over it at all.

To me love is nothing at all. What is love to me means nothing cos I had put so much efforct into making my marriage happy but in came a young woman, all is gone forever.

Only just wish that those married men who are having an affair, please make up yr mind who you really want to be with. If you want to be with yr wife, then please please stop yr affair. If you want to stay with yr mistress then you should tell yr wives instead of hiding and making up stories n lies cos this will prolong yr wives pain n suffering.

Well Janice n Jay and to thos wives who are in the same situation , please have courage..cos without yr cheating husbands you can still live on life without them. In fact it is better to live without yr cheating husband. Let the other woman go n worry abt it cos if he can cheat on you, he can also cheat on her or vice versa.

So take care and make sure you enjoy yr life to the fullest . Enjoy and pamper yourself. Forget abt those cheating husbands…

12 11 2009
Jay

Thanks Mel for yr encourgement. I am feeling very down now cos of too many ppl having depression over debts , failed marriages and so on.

In fact, yr situation nad mine sound so smiliar in everyway. My dear hubby also told me that he has to worked late only on a certain day but in the end, he will keep on making excuse that he has lots of work to do. Like you, I also found out that his lots of work was to take good care of his young mistress ferrying gher thru n fro her night classes and like a stupid fool will wait for abt two hrs to ferry her home. Maybe he was hoping to claim more “overtime” with her. I also found out that he carried his passport with him so he n her can just pop over to Jb for a quick good time together. When I asked him why he has to bring his passport with him, he make some story that he need to go to JB as n when his job required him . haha………….. guess what his job in JB was ??? To take good care of her and to have fun without bing seen by others.

I totally agree with yr msg to those married men who are having an affair now. Please please make up yr mind, if you want to stay on with yr wives , please mak yr marriage work and do not hurt ye wives anymore cos we wives are also human. just cos wives are no longer young, you married men can just dump us aside and then come running back to our side when we found the truth. If still want to carry on yr affair, then it is better you unfaithful men gt out of yr wives life and leave them in peace. We may be hurt but as what mel said, but we will be better off without yr unfaithfulness . At least we will be at peace without any worry of being hurt anymore.

Thanks Mel…

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