Life Lessons 101: Anger Management

28 09 2015

I have learned many lessons for the past 11 months. If there really is one important lesson that I would like to share with myself over this post article, it would have to be that – Managing my expectations towards people and situations.

I guess having a second career in an alternate industry gave me a deeper understanding towards what I previously thought I was an expert in. Life is like a game of poker, you win some and you lose some. However, if you work at improving your gaming skills (in addition to an element of luck on one’s side), eventually you will be a winner. I don’t expect to be on the winning side all the time, but I see the need to minimize my losses when I can predict the actual outcome.

The determining factor in my wins and loses would be the ability to control my emotions and not let it get the better out of me. As I age into my 30’s, I hope to see myself as a person who knows how to pick his battles. I wish to be wise enough, to live and fight another good fight. Ultimately, I have to differentiate between pride and principle.

And once again, I thank you all ladies and gentlemen for giving me the opportunity to take the red pill and stay in wonderland, to explore the infinite possibilities of the rabbit hole.

Amen to that.

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Confessions Part I

21 01 2014

It’s 4.37am in the morning and the only reason that I got up is because my housemate closed the main door with a loud bang, which reminds me that I should absolutely upgrade my room doors when I have some extra change to spare. It has been almost 2 years since I posted a new entry and well frankly speaking many things have happened in my life. I can’t say that I’m totally happy with it right now but I feel that I can do better to make things right. As I am soon to enter a new stage of my life (gonna hit the 30 mark approximately 10 months time), I can’t help but feel surprisingly calm about becoming a father (in a month’s time).

When I was 21, I once told a good friend of mine (still is as I blog) that I hated my surname, I hated the thought of getting married and I disliked having my own children. As I journeyed on almost a decade down the road, that same friend reminded me that I have totally embraced what I disliked. Strange but true. I would like to think that I’m great with socializing but very very terrible when it comes to maintaining a good and healthy relationship with my family, love ones and friends. Hence I fell out with quite a few important people in my life sometime last year. This is probably due to the tiresome feeling of wearing a mask all the time and sometimes, a lack of better judgement on my hind side.

I grew up in my early teens living in a lie and have probably lied even in recent times. Heck, I used to remember teaching my ex-colleagues to ‘lie with confidence’ in order to make a sales pitch, makes me wonder would I become the next Jordan Belfort if I did not have any shred of morals. But now that I think back, I lied to gain acceptance, for survival, to be envied and all the selfish excuses that one can probably think off. Long story short, I just want a better life I guess.

Writer’s block for now.

ps: Feeling a little weird after ‘confessing’.





A reminder

13 03 2012

…To myself that the world does not revolve around me and me alone.

I gotta do what needs to be done and more as well.

This may be a very vague post but it should be more than adequate to remind me of what reality really is.

Being thankful for all the help and support is insufficient to show my sincerity towards the helpful ones.

But making a stand and taking action does,

so God help me.

Amen.





My thoughts…

7 05 2011

Of certain things have changed. Well, sort of actually. God has been rather kind to me with regards to my career, probably not so with the other aspects of my life, but hey, he’s been pretty nice to me already. I’ll have to work harder if I want to improve my life. So I just want to say, “Dear God, thank You for everything and forgive me for the sins that I’ve committed.”

That aside, I’m back in the army serving my national service for another week. Having encountered things that should not be seen nor heard, it made me realize that I shouldn’t take things for granted and to be more respectful of my surroundings from now on. “Dear God, please take good care of my fellow comrades as thou has towards me.”

My future – 5 years and beyond; My vote has been casted and the tribe will be spoken tomorrow. Regardless of the result, my only wish is for a better tomorrow for everyone. The decisions that I’ve taken up today will surely affect my life sooner or later, be it good or bad. “Dear God, let me receive an anointing and guide me through the good times and bad.”

Amen.





TO: The Future Me

24 04 2011

Just like I’ve previously mentioned, I hardly blog because I really love to keep things to a minimal..It has been almost 4 years since I first blogged and as usual, I have been doing nothing but mumbling about random useless nothings and I’m still doing as I type out this post.

Anyway, I’m writing this post to myself – many years down the road, if I still remember about this blog and if wordpress still exists, I want ME to know that I had blogged this post in a cold and dark living room, on the sofa that I would be sleeping in.

How many times have I promised myself that I would work hard for the future while I squandered away my present and how many times have I disappointed my family and love one with my actions and non-actions? To be honest, I’m pretty disappointed with myself too. Why can’t I be more responsible with my life and the lives that depends on me? Should I wait for calamity to arise before I realise my stupidity; OR should I finally advert this potential tragedy whole-heartedly and willingly?

My blog posts are as always, full of questions and not many answers. I’m clueless as to whether typing them out makes any real difference in my life. But I DO hope that by the very next time I read this entry again, I would have changed for the better.

Otherwise.

I am hopeless.





Just because..

12 09 2010

I don’t blog, doesn’t mean I am dead, lazy, busy.

It just means that I blog mostly whenever I’m depressed; and I have probably exhausted all other outlets of releasing my feelings to anyone at all.

I have completely lost my focus in life. Aimless is how I feel from time to time. Too much setbacks in life can really take a toll on one’s soul. Being scrutinized constantly on almost every single thing on a daily basis can be quite stressful to my head. It’s like my life is one big mistake and there seems to be no way to rectify it at all.

Heck, I don’t even know how to end this post either.

Sad.





Resolutions

29 05 2010

I never believed in making resolutions. Probably because I procrastinate more often than I should. Looking back at the times I spent needlessly do almost nothing at all scares me, literary.

Keeping fit, catching up with friends and relatives, taking care of my wife and mum, concentrating on my studies, working for a better life (present and future), staying faithful to my religion, spending quality time with my pet dog and more plans in-the-making.

Humans are simple creatures capable of having complicated lives.

A simple life would be going through a general education so as to secure a job that pays decently with a bearable amount of workload. Meeting someone that shares that same viewpoint of leading a simple life, to fall in love with that someone and get married to them. The next step in a simple life would be to have children that would most likely go through the same cycle of lives that their parents are leading and eventually, to retire with enough time and money to enjoy the remainder of our earthly lives before we ascend to a (hopefully) place with higher calling.

While a complicated life would be trying to equip oneself with life skills for the future while we are young and to get enrolled into an elite school at almost every stage of our academic lives to receive the best education that the country can offer. If one is hopeful, a scholarship comes along the way as a form of bonus. Having MNCs or government sectors to knock on our doors to offer positions that one can hardly reject. Marrying the dream partner of our choice plus, coupled with the best DNA you think you could ever have, to produce one of the most intelligent and beautiful child (or children) in your so called ‘perfect world’. And lastly, to build your very own empire and retire with a legacy for the next generation because by then, you probably would have the financial capability of allowing your children to achieve any and every dream they desire to, thus kick starting their very own complicated life.

There are a handful whose choices may defer from the above two scenarios, however they are just only a handful. Having said that, there will be times when people leading with a simple or complicated life may look on with envy at these handful, but it really is a classic case of ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’.

Having mentioned all that, I wonder what should my resolution be.

Sigh, God help.